I’ve located ground zero in terms of what happens when I go off the rails. — My father used yank me by the arm and bark impatiently, What in the world’s the matter with you? I’ve been trying to answer this question my entire life. My being wildly off task and zoned out, courtesy of ADHD, was probably part of what irritated my dad on a…

It’s like tectonic plates have shifted. — Recently, my daughter was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and anxiety. She said the psychiatrist who gave her the assessment was the first person who truly saw, understood, and validated who she is as a person. A huge revelation. She visited over the holidays, and we…

The fog of C-PTSD can slowly begin to lift — Synopsis There are phases in the healing process of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). I’m finally starting to experience acceptance and integration of my past. There were bad things that happened, but that’s not the whole story. A Vivid Reverie A few days ago, I got on my rowing machine, pressed Just Row…

I will never get to hug many of my closest friends. Others will come and go. (Crows Feet Prompt #20 — Friendship). — Every couple of months I video chat with two good friends I’ll probably never see in person. We met by happenstance on a phone-in “integral recovery” group based on John Dupuy’s book by the same name. The group folded right after I joined, but the three of us had an…

I got a Concept 2 rower. It’s next-level stuff. — As gung-ho rowing coach Shane Farmer enthuses, rowing isn’t just a workout. It’s a lifestyle! A community! A plan! It’s about changing our lives! The bulletproof Concept II is the world-wide standard for stationary rowers. Recently, after browsing the used market for over two years, a nearly-new machine miraculously popped…

Thoughts on the struggle to “get it together.” (Prompt #19: Thinking of Yourself as Older) — Fifty years ago I was shambling towards the final months of high school. My faded jeans were slit at the cuff so they would fit over my waffle stompers. 2022 was an outlandish science fiction I might not live to see. Uh, hello! That far-off day is here, and the…

The quest to corral our Divine Self proved to be more slippery than we thought — In the ’70s, the burgeoning interest in spiritual awakening exploded. Be Here Now was a counter-culture bible. The “human potential movement” was going full tilt. Seth Speaks, channeled by Jane Roberts, was making the rounds and it was truly mind blowing. Breakthroughs were happening all over the place. MDMA (ecstasy)…

It’s the simple, ordinary things I used to take for granted. — Conversations Coming back from Milan on a crowded train, a man about my age sat down across from me. We struck up a conversation. I learned he had lived his whole life in Chicago. He’d traveled extensively. Bern and Zurich had made an impression on him. He was headed to Varenna…

Living abroad for the long haul, there’s no real way back. And where you are, you’ll always be a foreigner. — Labor Day marked eight years since I left the states. To make an interminably long story short, I retired and my wife and I moved to Uruguay for three years. When things petered out there, we moved to Italy. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the long-term implications of leaving the…